One of the main reasons why I’ve started a blog so many times is because after I start and have a few posts in, I start to question everything. Are people really going to read it? What will they think of me? What if someone I know reads it? Are my pictures good? Am I writing about something that matters? I am also my biggest judge. I don’t need anyone to question me before I begin to doubt myself. This time around, I am using blogging as a project – I will continue to challenge myself to write these things, take pictures, and express myself doing my best to not look back and believe in what I want to do.
Today, I wanted to go back a place I had seen while driving around that I thought would make a really nice background for a picture. I am always seeing these beautiful Instagrams by friends, beauty and lifestyle bloggers and wish my feed looked like that and I had the ability to take such gorgeous pictures. I was really excited on the way there, but once we got there (me & my boyfriend), I got really anxious. I began to think about people walking by, what if I looked like an idiot, what if the photos were crap… My boyfriend’s not a photographer…. And I’m not a model… So not getting the right shot, a shot that looked like the Instagrams I’ve seen, made it all the more frustrating.
I’m hoping this is a way for me to work on my confidence, but to also show you that not everything is as perfect as it looks on social media and the internet. I’m sure as I continue to work on this, it’ll get easier, but for now, I am really anxious about you reading this.